Lacuna
by Galexz
Summary: Kara's plane crashed, her knee shattered, and she still made it off that moon. However, the ship waiting for her wasn't the Galactica. Captured, tortured and manipulated to be everything Leoben wants, can Kara ever go back to who she was? Kara/Lee


Alright! First BSG fic ever! I'm working on the characterization, so let me know how that goes. This is going to be a LONG story with a LOT of character development, and yes Kara/Lee romance. That is going to be the hardest to write because I want it to progress slowly from respect/friendship into love...and it won't come until MUCH later.

This is going to be out of canon a lot, and in canon some. AU/"What If" fics are so much fun to write even though I love the show as it was written. Also this is a dramatic Kara torture fic, but without much violence. It's going to be a psychological torture that leaves our beloved heroine up s*** creek without a paddle.

So, stay if you want. Leave if you don't. Enjoy at your own risk!

Disclaimer: I own nothing. All these lovely characters belong to Ron Moore.

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><p><strong>Lacuna - Left Behind<strong>

"I'm fine."

Pearls of laughter rang out from over his shoulder as Kara swung her legs over the couch, "Bad lying runs in the family I see." She said smirking and handed Lee the popcorn.

"Don't be too hard on him Kara," Zak said, pulling her close, "He can't help I inherited all the Adama common sense."

Lee wanted to sneer, '_what common sense',_ but didn't. Even though Lee had a lot of problems with his Father, it didn't mean that Zak did.

Kara laughed and took Lee's hand and looked him straight in the eye, "Don't worry," She said, "I'll take care of you."

Even with her voice dripping with sarcasm, Lee believed every word of it.

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><p>Lee sat in the ready room. The last month had been the hardest month of his life. It was to be expected with the end of the worlds. The cylons had destroyed the colonies, his mother, his<em> life<em>, with them. He was stuck with his father who he didn't get along with, but the one thing that had made them work was now gone.

Lee angrily replayed the footage from Hotdog's gun camera.

"I gotcha Hodog," Kara's voice rang out over the room, "I'm gonna get you through this."

She had gotten him through it. She had saved all the nuggets, destroyed eight Cylon raiders, but the cost had been great. The fleet had lost a viper and damaged 13 others, lost over half of their fuel and their only qualified flight instructor, but Lee could really care less about the first two points.

"He's right on my tail, but I've got it covered –" Her voice cracked over the old com link.

That had been a lie. Kara was gone. It was a thought that was still foreign to him. She should have died multiple times over in the days after the attacks. Hell, _he _should have been dead, but Kara kept pulling him out of the fire.

She was, no had been, the best and craziest fighter pilot ever. They were frakked without her.

_He _was frakked without her. She was the last thing that tied him to Zak. She was the last thing keeping him on his feet since the attacks. She was the one to whip him into shape, smack him over the head when he was an idiot and pass him booze when he needed it.

"_I'll take care of you,"_ His mind whispered, but he did his best to ignore the empty, angry feeling that it dredged up.

Footsteps echoed through the room and Lee looked at the door. He half expected her to come waltzing in, sprawl herself down in one of the front row chairs and complain about the flight shifts. He hadn't taken her off the roster since they had jumped two days ago. They left her, dead or alive, on some gods forsaken rock. What bastards they were.

It had been the right thing to do, but it didn't make him feel any better about it.

The ready room door opened and Lee jumped at the sound. Hotdog walked past him, nodding as he went, and to the other door. Lee shifted in his chair and watched as Hotdog posted a picture of Kara on the wall right below the picture of the other pilot. He hadn't known who the other person was, but the picture was faded and well loved.

"She was frakking God," Hotdog said, turning to face Lee, "She took no one's bullshit, especially mine. I won't either."

Hotdog left and Lee stared at the picture. The photo made it seem so much more _real_, like she really wasn't coming back. He wanted to run over there and rip it off the wall, but it somehow seemed fitting. He didn't know where Hotdog had gotten the photo, but the picture of Kara, sitting in the cockpit of a Viper with her aviators and a cigar, was the epitome of Starbuck. It seemed right that she would be here with the pilots and not on the wall with the other pictures.

Gods, she really was gone.

Frakking bitch.

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><p>Bill Adama was working on his model ship again. It was the only thing he could do in his free time to forget the last few days. The worlds seemed to have changed colors overnight. Things seemed muted and dull. The whole ship was quieter.<p>

It was similar to when he thought his son had died in the first attack, but different. Back then it had only been him that took it hard, this time the whole ship was off kilter.

Starbuck had been with them for two years. She knew everyone on the ship - they either loved her or hated her, but everyone knew her. The pilots were especially quiet, but it didn't stop with them - the Knuckledraggers, the Coms specialists, and even Marines had been affected. The chief said that people still talked about her like she was still alive before they would realize.

Galatica didn't seem complete anymore. The CAPs were too quiet without her banter. The mess hall was empty without her occupying a table playing triad. The ready room was too big without her filling a seat.

Lee was taking it especially hard. They both knew they did what they had to do, but it didn't make it any easier. It had also put a strain on their relationship with the president. She had told them what they knew, but didn't want to say - that they were putting the fleet at risk for one pilot. Still it was hard not to blame her for the loss of Starbuck.

Bill pulled out the card she had given him last year. Kara was beaming with a moustache on her face. "See the resemblance?" It said. He certainly did, but now he couldn't tell her that.

Bill took sip of whiskey, and shook his head. This was Zak all over again.

The funeral was set for the day after tomorrow, but he couldn't bring himself to write a speech of any kind for Kara. She had been like a daughter to him, but he wouldn't - couldn't - speak at her funeral. He couldn't speak at Zak's either. Lee had yelled at him for that, and he probably would again, but Bill just couldn't. What would he say anyways? She had been his world after Zak had died, and the last things he said to her were angry and accusing.

Two days ago he had lost his second child. How many more would the Cylons take from him?

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><p>"Come on, where are you?" Kara mumbled. She had no radar in the damn Cylon raider she had scavenged, so she was looking for the Galactica by sight. She knew this was the right area, but the fleet was no were in sight. Maybe her luck had finally run out.<p>

She swung her ship around, determined to find them because she knew, well hoped, that the Old Man wouldn't leave her there. _I should have just left you there to rot. Maybe then you wouldn't have been such a disappointment_, Socrata Thrace's voice echoed in Kara's head, but she tried to shake it free. She hadn't slept in almost three days and the oxygen depravation was getting to her. The Commander was going to leave her, even if he hated her; she was too valuable to him to just leave behind.

That was what she kept telling herself until she saw the Cylon Basestar. It was just sitting there, where the Galatica had been. It was gone, and in it's place, a floating hell remained.

Torture or death. Those were her options. The Gods had finally abandoned Kara Thrace.

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><p>Okay, first chapter done. I hope that wet some people's palettes! We authors live on reviews, love it or hate it, let me know!<p>

Also for anyone who cares: "Lacuna" is latin for "a hole, an empty space, loss, deficiency" I'm hoping to explore all of those innuendos in this fic.

Til next time,

Galexz


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